Rethinking Time. Chapter 1: Time is spaghetti
Why the clock you trust might be gaslighting you.
Time is the most powerful force in your life.
You just don’t know what it is.
Every decision you make, every plan you abandon, every habit you form — it all dances to the rhythm of something we barely understand but pretend to control.
We wrap it in clocks.
We slice it into meetings.
We download apps to help us "manage" it.
And somehow, it still slips through our fingers like digital sand.
We’re surrounded by tools that claim to help us master time — calendars, alarms, routines, productivity apps with pastel gradients and judgmental push notifications.
But here’s a secret:
None of them actually model time.
They model obedience to time.
What if time isn’t a ruler, but a shapeshifter?
What if your sense of time is more like a weather pattern than a train schedule?
What if "9:00 AM" is a superstition we keep repeating because we forgot how we got here?
Let’s rewind.
Back before calendars, clocks, schedules, and TODO apps.
Before "morning meetings" and "Friday deadlines" and "three-minute meditation breaks."
Back when time looked like this:
Mister Broken Clock
We didn’t always treat time like this.
Once, time was relational — anchored to the movement of the sun, the rhythm of nature, the timing of crops, bodies, seasons, stories. It was fluid. Contextual. Circular. Alive.
But something changed.
We invented machines. We industrialized labor. We built schools and schedules and train timetables.
And we began to treat time like a machine, too.
A uniform substance.
A sequence of standardized units.
A tool to be measured, allocated, and controlled.
This is the worldview I want to talk about — the dominant concept of time in modern life.
It's the one that says:
You're “wasting time” if you're not producing.
If it's not on your calendar, it doesn't exist.
There’s a "right" time to wake up, eat, work, rest, create, socialize.
Time flows in one direction, one speed, and one shape: the grid.
It’s the worldview baked into:
Alarm clocks
Productivity tools
School bells
Factory shifts
Meeting invites
Burnout culture
It’s so common, so deeply normalized, that we barely notice it.
But the damage it does is everywhere.
It compresses our attention.
It flattens our inner rhythms.
It punishes spontaneity and complexity.
And it turns the infinite weirdness of life into a series of rigid boxes.
This worldview deserves a name.
Better yet, a face.
So for the rest of this story, I’ll call it:
He’s not a villain, exactly.
He just embodies the belief that time is something external, objective, and mechanical — something that you must obey.
The moment you internalize his worldview, you start:
Measuring your worth in hours and output.
Scheduling your life around artificial constraints.
Blaming yourself for failing to fit into a system that was never designed for humans in the first place.
Mr. BC is everywhere.
And for a while, I listened to him.
But deep down, I knew something was wrong.
Because life doesn’t move like a clock.
It pulses. It flows. It emerges.
And somewhere in that mess... is something else.
Something strange. Quiet. Almost sacred.
Miss Time Blob
If Mr. Broken Clock is the system that tells you when to wake, when to work, when to eat, and when to “relax” — all on schedule —
then Ms. Time Blob is what happens between all that.
She doesn’t care about 9:00 AM.
She doesn’t know what “late” means.
She never wears a watch.
She never speaks.
She just watches.
Where Mr. Broken Clock slices your life into clean, rectangular time blocks,
Ms. Time Blob flows.
She expands and contracts.
She dilates during heartbreak.
She blinks past during flow states.
She slows down when you're waiting for test results.
She disappears entirely when you're in love.
She is time as experienced, not as scheduled.
You already know her, even if you never named her.
That weird feeling when an hour passes in five minutes.
That sense that “it’s not time yet,” even though the clock says otherwise.
The strange inner rhythm you follow when you're really listening to yourself.
We don’t measure her.
We feel her.
But here’s the thing:
She’s always present.
Even if you don’t notice.
Even if you’re ignoring her.
Even when Mr. Broken Clock is screaming into your calendar.
She doesn’t intervene.
She doesn’t correct you.
She doesn’t give you advice or feedback.
She doesn’t care if you’re “on time.”
She just is.
And as for her shape?
We don’t know.
She’s not a line.
She’s not a grid.
She’s not a countdown or a bullet point.
She’s not a “thing” at all — just a feeling, a blur, a hum, a pull in some direction we can’t yet articulate.
That’s why I call her a Blob.
Not because she’s vague,
but because she’s unresolved.
A presence we don’t yet understand.
A phenomenon we haven’t learned how to model.
Not a god. Not a tool.
Just… something real.
Waiting to be discovered.
Mr. BC vs Ms. TB
On the left, under the rule of Mr. Broken Clock, time is sharp and rectangular.
Your day is a sequence of scheduled blocks:
Wake at 07:00.
Work from 09:00 to 17:00.
Dinner at 19:00.
Sleep at 23:00.
Everything fits — at least in theory.
No overlaps. No ambiguity. No surprises.
It’s neat. It’s reliable.
It’s also completely disconnected from how your life actually unfolds.
On the right, in the realm of Ms. Time Blob, time is spaghetti.
There are no clean blocks.
Tasks bleed into each other.
Things start before others end.
You follow a hunch, get interrupted, double back, wander off.
A conversation turns into a project, which gets hijacked by a memory, which sends you to Google, which leads to a new idea, which replaces your original plan — and somehow you still haven’t showered.
Her time isn’t broken.
It’s just nonlinear, recursive, unpredictable.
It makes sense after it happens — but never before.
And in the middle, there’s you.
You try to follow the calendar, but it pinches.
You try to embrace the chaos, but you get lost.
You're constantly shifting —
between obedience to the Clock
and surrender to the Blob.
Some days, Mr. Broken Clock wins.
You squeeze yourself into your calendar and call it discipline — even if you’re miserable.
Other days, the Blob takes over.
You go full improvisation and feel free — until you realize it’s 3 AM and you forgot to eat.
The truth is, neither of them is fully wrong.
Mr. BC gives structure.
Ms. TB gives flow.
But our modern lives were built almost entirely in Mr. BC’s image.
We pretend the Blob doesn’t exist — and suffer for it.
The problem isn’t that we fall short of the schedule.
It’s that the schedule never fit us in the first place.
And yet, the alternative — just giving in to the spaghetti — doesn’t work either.
Because we still live in a world that runs on clocks, appointments, deadlines.
So what do we do?
We dance between them.
We fake structure while surfing chaos.
We bend time blocks into circles and hope no one notices.
We lie to our planners and forgive ourselves in the margins.
We’re trying to navigate a fractured reality using tools designed for a linear fantasy.
When Poop Breaks the System
You’ve decided to take control of your life.
No more chaos. No more wasted time.
You’ve planned it all — to the minute.
🗓️ 18:00: Finish work.
🧑🍳 19:30: Cooking dinner.
🧘 20:00: Yoga.
🛏️ 23:00: Sleep, no compromises.
To help you stay on track, you even set a notification:
“🍽️ 19:30 — Time to make dinner!”
At 19:29, disaster strikes.
You're in the bathroom.
Not for a quick pee.
For a full-system meltdown.
This wasn’t on your schedule.
Your schedule is now on fire.
You won’t start dinner at 19:30.
Which means you won’t eat by 19:55.
Which means yoga at 20:00? Forget it.
And now sleep? Who knows. The whole thing is ruined.
Because you forgot to schedule the diarrhea.
That’s the problem.
We try to schedule life like it’s a series of precisely aligned dominoes.
But life doesn’t fall like dominoes.
Life explodes.
It interrupts.
It surprises.
And Ms. Time Blob knows this.
She doesn’t beep.
She doesn’t remind.
She doesn’t panic.
She just is — gently adapting, making room for reality, not resisting it.
You can’t schedule your digestive disasters.
You can’t forecast emotional slumps.
You can’t always obey the clipboard.
And maybe that’s not a flaw.
Maybe that’s… the point.
The poop doesn’t break the system. It reveals the system was already broken.
Mr. Broken Clock’s world is rigid, predictable, and brittle. Ms. Time Blob’s world is fluid, creative, and chaotic. We're told to live in one, but our bodies and souls belong to the other. We are living a contradiction.
You can’t schedule when a seed will sprout. You can’t command a flower to bloom by 9:00 AM. You can prepare the soil, you can provide water and sun, but you must surrender to a rhythm that is not your own. You must work with it.
This is the central conflict of modern life. We are given tools for the grid, but we live in the spaghetti.
So the question isn't, "How can I be more disciplined?"
The real question is:
How do we build a bridge between the Clock and the Blob?
How can we honor the structure we need to function in the world, while making space for the beautiful, unpredictable chaos of being human?
I've spent the last year obsessed with this question. I went looking for an answer.
In the next chapters, I’ll show you what I found.